I recall an anecdote I translated from the Japanese of a dharma talk given by my dharma friend, the Rev. Goro Masui of Kyoto. The anecdote is as follows:

There was once a lady who went shopping for a pickling pot to pickle her annual plums (umeboshi). She chose a good $10.00 size pot and paid the shopkeeper. As she was leaving, it occurred to her that her daughter and her family also wanted some her umeboshi. Thinking that the pot she just bought might be too small, she returned it and choose a larger one, valued at $20.00.
Now, as she was leaving with the larger pot, the shopkeeper called out to her to pay another $10.00 for the larger pot. She felt embarrassed for being called out. She then explained, "You said the original pot I bought was $10.00. That's what I paid. But, since it wasn't the one I wanted while I was leaving the store, I exchanged it for the larger pot, which is $20.00. So, I figured that I had already paid you $10.00 and now I was returning the $10.00 pot in exchange for the larger $20.00 pot; well, they covered the $20.00 for this pot I now have. So, in effect, you already have the $20.00 you asked for.
The shopkeeper, who was listening as intently to her explanations as possible thought he caught the gist of her explanation and agreed with her; apologizing too for calling her out. Her explanation seemed to be clear. Still, as she sauntered out the door, he felt there was still something missing from the conversation that just took place.

This humorous anecdote made all of us laugh. In our common sense we know that while the lady's convoluted logic may be correct, it was obvious the shopkeeper was still short changed!

In the normal course of everyday living, we are undoubtedly quick to see the obvious flaws in our daily interactions and dealings. We can make the distinctions between statements given and the reality of our situation. Often, however, when we translate our daily lives into the dimension of religious understanding and awareness, we may not be as quick to detect the flaws and differences in our views.

For example, the heart of Shinran's teachings is manifested in the Tannisho as, "By saying the nembutsu, entrusting oneself in the Primal Vow, one attains Buddhahood". In one sense this is a statement or propositon of faith that is to be believed. On the other hand, this is also the reality that is realized in the religious awakening of faith itself. If we merely cling to the statement as belief, then its reality does not touch nor move our left and we are left with a sense of "something is missing".

Shin Buddhism (Jodo Shinshu), in the spirit of Sakyamuni Buddha, does not demand blind belief or blind obedience to the statement of faith. Rather, it encourages us to reflect, examine, and explore what is given within one's self. Through this process the awakening of faith as a deeply religious experience of the Other Power is experienced. Shinran remarks, "...whether you accept the nembutsu, entrusting yourself to it, or reject it, that is your choice." In such a way, clinging to the statements and propositions of faith may seem promote our belief in thought and feeling, but we may still truly miss the transformative and integrative religious experience at the heart of the awakening of faith.

What is crucial in our life within Shin Buddhism is to stretch our search for clarity and meaning to its limits, to the very border of self-effort itself. We must not simply stand on how we feel or think Shin Buddhism defines our belief system. Experiencing the awakening of faith is necessary for the experiential clarity of our journey in the nembutsu. Our religious process should reflect Rennyo's spirit of inquiry, "If your heart is cold, say that it is cold. If it is hot, say that it is hot. In matters of faith, negligence is inexcusable."

The paradoxical nature of stretching and pushing our self-effort to understand and realize the living meaning of nembutsu is to be drawn and pulled by the workings of faith of the Other Power. Listening to dharma is to listen to Amida Buddha's voice-that-calls us. Listening with one's whole being becomes the very conduit that breaks through the wall of one's blind beliefs and self doubts and awaken to the world of faith of the Other Power, the very working of Amida Buddha's illuminating wisdom and limitless compassion. Such a spiritual transformation occurring in our heart and mind is expressed as:

For the person of wholehearted single practice of the nembutsu, change of heart occurs only once. People who have in ordinary life been ignorant of the true essence of the Primal Vow, which is Other Power, come to realize, through receiving Amida's wisdom, that they cannot attain birth with the thoughts and feelings they have harbored up to then, so they abandon their former heart andmind and entrust themselves to the Primal Vow. This is what is meant by change of heart". - Tannisho, Ch. 16, CCW, p. 676.

Here our sense of "something is missing" spiritually is now stripped away and we are now empowered by the natural and spontaneous working of the Primal Vow, the very outpouring of Amida's boundless heart of wisdom and compassion. Namu-amida-butsu.