One day Buddha was sitting with all his disciples around him when an old man appeared and said, "How long do you want to live? Ask for a million years and they will be granted to you!"

The Buddha answered without hesitation, "Eight years!"

When the old man was gone, his disciples asked in a disappointed way, "Master, why didn't you ask for a million years? Think of the good that you would do for hundreds of generations!"

The Buddha replied with a smile, "If I were to live a million years, people would be more interested in extending their lives than in seeking wisdom."

What is the lesson we can learn from this anecdote? What is the meaning we can gain and how can we connect it with our own lives? How does this anecdote speak to us, to me?

My impression is that these disciples were more interested in the survival aspect, i.e. in the number of years we live, rather than in cultivation and nurturing the quality and meaning of their lives. Of course, their reaction was in probability no different from many of us. Living and surviving a long time seems to have some intrinsic value for us. But, how many of us, including myself, can genuinely say we are consciously and conscientiously devoting our time and energy to really improving the quality of our lives? Is it not unusual for us to live for many years without really living. We may think we are alive because we eat, breathem talk, and expend a lot of energy running around.

For example, every morning we are in a hurry to get to work. We stand at the kitchen counter eating a bown of cereal and at the same time reading box scores in the newspaper, and watching the monring news on TV. We then rush off to work, racing with the traffic to get there, and spend the remainder of our day purposefully getting our work done. We look at the clock. It's time to go home. We look forward to relaxing in front of the TV, putting aside the tensions of the day. We think this relaxation is necessary so that we can be prepared for the busyness of the next day. But, is this all there is to being alive?

Being alive, it seems to me, means being alive to who we really are. It means getting a clear bearing on ourselves in the moment. It is being self aware of what we are doing, thinking, and feeling. It is being fully present to our life as it unfolds in this here and now. Have we not had moments in writing letters, for example, where we find ourselves "slowing donw" to capture our thoughts and feelings? Such moments allow us to be fully and clearly in touch with our inner workings. We have an opportunity to be free and connected to our life and to the life of others. This, to me, is being alive to our self in the preset.

No matter what our human capacities and capabilities may be, our real life thus lies in realizing and embracing the fullness of this present moment. Herein lies the key to the wisdom the Buddha leads each of us to realize and live. Living wisely and not simply surviving is always at the heart of the enlightened way of life. Namu-amida-butsu.

Life is not a linear experience
Constructed rationally, like a road
More like a brook, it meanders
Directed by conditions, things, happennings
Like the brook, times of bubbling and splashing
Then times of quiet, unnoticed movement
But always a continuing activity
A journey to a joining, a completion